Moods Of Insomnia

man awake in bed

My friend recently said to me that he’d love to have insomnia, because being up all night he’d gets lots of stuff done. The poor ignorant fool. Insomnia isn’t being awake. It’s not being...we’ll that got me thinking. What is insomnia?

Like everything else in reality, there is no easy answer. I can only speak for myself, and under analysis, I have a menagerie of insomnias.

First there is the obvious over-caffinated insomnia. Too many cokes, leaving me wired. This one is easy to avoid, unless I’m working on a story and not paying attention.

Leading to what I call story insomnia. When I get an idea for a story or some plot point that I haven’t quite figured out, I find it impossible to sleep until it’s resolved. Unfortunately, I’m too tired to think straight.

Similar to that is external story insomnia. That’s where I watch or read something that warrants analysis. I should just shelve till morning, but once my interest is tickled it must fulfill its function before rest is allowed.

Then there is the nostalgia demon. My past, usually some embarrassing incident, gets played on an infinite loop defying all efforts to deflect or derail the memory.

Also, there are the nightmares. The drill for most people is; have a nightmare, wake up, realize it was a nightmare, go back to sleep. For me though, after realizing ti was a nightmare, I have to figure out what the dream meant. They takes between a long time and when the sun comes up.

Finally, there is worry insomnia. News, family health, my health, pet issues, travel issues, repair issues, impending paperwork, upcoming social interaction, recent unsuccessful social interaction, lack of social interaction, and having to make lists of things that bother me. All these bother me, and keep me awake.

So all of that is what keeps me up at night. As you can see, it’s not all negative. I wish I had better control of what my brain thinks about and when it thinks about it, but most of the time, I’m grateful for the thoughts. I can always sleep tomorrow. Probably.