The only thing creepier than dreams about ninjas attacking me in motel rooms is the ads that are showing up on my computer after researching those dreams online. Handsome men and ugly women in shining armor on motorcycles trying to sell me hot yoga, human bone jewelry and enemas.
To deflect the ads I searched for Katy Perry and Hello Kitty but that just made things worse. I can’t even describe the images the internet tried to sell me. So I searched for monster trucks and punk rock. Now I’m being offered doom and gloom but it’s better than enemas.