Pat decided that the man across the road had read a booklet on camping and was doing everything he could to follow its directives. He spent the entire weekend, day and night, hot and cold, in a white t-shirt and khaki shorts. He labored over his fire pit for hours on end in search of the perfect flame. He used a full can of lighter each day. He had to send his sons off on their electric scooters to obtain an axe. When they returned with one he chopped firewood as recklessly as I’ve ever seen but escaped fingers intact.