Why do I keep dreaming about Butch Patrick and Norman Fell?
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Bike Projects Update
Mini BMX – The truing stand came and after much work the rear wheel no longer wobbles. Tomorrow night I’ll attack the front. Then all that I need to do is soak the chain in degreaser, clean it and lube it and the bike will be ready for some little kid to abuse.
Izzy – I picked up this free ex-burning man bike. Underneath all the fake fur is rather a nice cruiser, but the rusty hardware is causing problems. On the good side it doesn’t look like it will need any new parts.
RT10 – The 10 speed BMX-style bike is ready to go. It will get posted as a free bike on Craigslist later this week.
Rocky – Still looking for a rear wheel and tire. I have everything else and much of it has been assembled.
Random Thoughts
I think I’m suffering from literary constipation.
A Book Worth Reading
A MIND NOT WORTH CONTROLLING, by Joshua Price
OK, I need to say it, this is a stupid book, and I mean that in the best possible way. I don’t think there’s a humor writer who didn’t write at least one story featuring a silly, incompetent but somehow successful crime fighter. My own attempts featured the oddly-named Captain Calypso who I say humbly never had the gusto or outrageousness of A MIND NOT WORTH CONTROLLING’s hero Captain Rescue.
“Where are the bad guys?!” Captain Rescue bellowed. “I will kill them!”
To a fan of stupid heroes, as I am, this is poetry. The plot, the characters and especially the conclusion are audacious and ridiculous. For people unfamiliar with the stupid hero genre, forget it, you won’t get it. Though the story may be short enough to survive the average reader’s suspension of expectation of seriousness.
Me fall down
OK, so I’m 50 years old and today I fell off my bike and skinned my knee. I must finally accept that I will never grow up.
I was riding down the street and a truck pulled out in front of me. Rather than grabbing the brakes and stopping I decided to go around. Bad move. I hit the street car tracks at the wrong angle and the front tire slipped out from under me. I put my arms out to catch myself, but fortunately realized that was bad and loosened up before I hit. The only thing that hit hard was my knee which had only a knee warmer over it.
The owner of the butcher shop, whose truck had started this, came over to check on me. Though only my knee was slightly injured I was feeling rather woozy. I later realized that I was just overdosed with adrenaline. After a bit I felt better and butcher guy went back to work less worried about a law suit.
As I got back on my back I noticed that my speedometer was missing. I found it in the street smashed to bits, obviously run over by something heavy.
Why am I so bothered by this little mishap? Riding my bike is my main physical activity and the last thing I need right now is yet another reminder of my fragility. Ah well.
Book Review: 101 Puzzle Quizzes
This book is very frustrating. Not because the puzzles are too easy or too difficult, but because many of the puzzles have multiple correct answers and only the author’s intended answer is accepted. This shows a lack of attention to detail, or at least a lack of imagination.
For example: Puzzle number 25 shows three unfolded shapes made up of attached triangles and asks which does not belong. There are four correct answers.
Shape A is the only one where the triangles laid flat form a larger triangle.
Shape A is also the only one where one triangle is completely surrounded by other triangles.
Shape B is the only parallelogram.
Shape C, when folded, does not form a solid object. (the “correct” answer)
This lack of a singular correct answer is a shame because the book contains a nice variety of difficulty and puzzle types.
100 Words – Nuns and Lizards
Will I ever live up to the poetry of nuns and their dead lizards? Will Sears ever send me the back-ordered instruction manual for the lathe of my imagination? Did my fictional character really kill a woman in the real world in 1987? Will I always envy the mentally disfigured for their VIP status in the barroom of the doomed? The drunk I never became giving me the finger from behind iron bars. Charlie B. spits on my shoes and threatens to kill me but he is old and feeble and can not harm me. The fourth enemy wins again.
Random Thought
Empty beer bottles. Empty pill bottles. Where have all the good times gone?
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100 words – blood
I feel it slipping away, becoming aware too late. Past the point of correctability. The numbers fall. Double digits when triple are required. The brain slows. The lightness invades the shoulders. The neck bobs. The sweat comes. Oh God, I’m sweating. I know what’s happening. I know how to fix it, but some morbid need stops me. First I have to see just how close I am to falling over the edge. How many points above coma am I? Has the bungee cord snapped? Can I climb back out of the hole my body has dug? The failure of blood.
The 17th wisest thing ever said
I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.