Tom Flanders World

All the stuff about me and my life
Tom Week – Clever Stupid Hack
hack group

The silliest hack ever

Someone took every word from my about page and tried to use it as a login name. Clever, but it was to naught. Apparently I’m not stupid enough to have my admin login published on my website.

Climbing Knowledge Mountain

There are no wise men sitting in wait at the top of those hills. There are only more wastelands of stuff that need to be learned. The more I learn, the less I know.

Doom overshadows the city

Batman is dead. Adam West wasn’t the first or last Batman, but he will always be my favorite. I can’t count how many toy Batmobiles I’ve had. I also have to thank The Batman TV show for jump-starting my journey towards sexuality, thanks to all women who played Cat Woman. (But mostly Julie Newmar.)

Random thoughts

Panic attack last night over the prospect of moving out of a house and into a Winnebago.

It wasn’t until I came into contact with an evil spirit that I discovered that I am surrounded by good spirits.

We should set aside one day a year to celebrate surly teenage store clerks. Where would we be without them?

Guy with a man bun: “I love the taste of jalapenos but I hate the spiciness.”


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Bob’s Coffee – 100 words
coffee cup

Bob stalked the halls, coffee cup in hand, searching for the perfect coffee. HR’s was too bitter. Housekeeping’s too weak. The stuff on the loading dock was battery acid with cinnamon. The geek room had no coffee, just coke and pepsi. The freaks.

Finally Bob wandered into admin’s outer office. They always had the best, but it was almost always gone. The office was unoccupied. The pot wasn’t empty. He quickly poured himself a cup and took a big swig. The cold day-old liquid hit his throat and he spit it back out, all over the latest inspirational cat poster.

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Tom Week – The Challenge
haunted bench challenge

Bike Challenge Update

I finished the month with 138 miles, which put me in 25th for San Francisco. This is my third best month ever. Hoping for good weather in June. Hoping for top 20.

Hurray for surly teens

Today at Petco I was checked-out by a wonderfully surly teenage girl. They were very busy and had four registers going. I picked line 3, which seemed to be the fastest. The people in front of me were quite insulted by the girl’s attitude. They failed to notice though that her line went faster than the other three lines combined. I’d rather have good service than good attitude any day.

The haunted bench

People keep seeing their dead relatives sitting on the bench in our front yard. The best was a family walking by and a little girl waved and screamed, “Grandma!” Her parents were confused and embarrassed. Apparently the didn’t see grandma on the bench.

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Eric and Linda – 100 words
funeral for Eric

Eric saw things that other people missed.

Unfortunately Eric was so busy noticing minute details he skipped over the larger picture. Like the bus that ran him over.

At his funeral his friend Linda sat in wonder at the strange collection of people who came to pay their last respects. She always assumed that Eric had no other friends. All his other friends assumed the same thing.

One friend tried to put a weed whacker in the coffin. The mortician kicked him out.

Linda suggested that the friends go somewhere for a drink. They all agreed but nobody showed up.



Photo by Woodrow Wilson Presidential Library Archives

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Tom Week – Alien Invasion

alien invasionThe alien invasion has begun

The creatures are among us. Flee! Scurry! OK, not really an alien invasion. Just a snail on a window with the full moon in the background. Cool and disgusting.

Arthritis Day

Woke up all achey. Tried riding my bike. I hoped that it would loosen up my joints. Nope. Had to cut the ride short because my fingers were so sore I couldn’t pull the brake levers. I love getting old.

Cleaning House

Another load of stuff gone to Goodwill. Thanks Chester. The yard sale pile is piling up.

Random Thoughts

These are words. They say things. I’m not sure what they mean.

One hundred degrees outside the RV. Mad dogs and Englishmen indeed.

Last Thursday I was the victim of a drive-by meditation.


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